Yeah...this is the kind of thing that I am talking about. |
So, that said, let me pick on one of the worst parts of
being Baptist—testimonies. Man, I hated testimony time growing up. Say what you
will about sharing your testimony in a small group, at church camp or the first
week at BSM in college, testimony time was just unbearable for me. And here’s
why: we all sound the same…and we are using a formula to share certain things
about ourselves. In some ways it is quite efficient, in some ways it is like
indecent exposure. You think to yourself, “Okay, this is guys group. That means
I need to confess lust, pretend I don’t struggle with it anymore. Mention a
story of how I overcame it, and encourage that brother across from me that he
will be free someday…like I wish I was…oops, make sure not to say that last
part out loud.” Or, if I am in a co-ed BSM group getting to know you setting, I
say something like, “Well, I was raised in the church, but I had this
experience in summer camp my sophomore year where I understood God was real.
And I remember I cried and raised my hands. It was so good. But recently, I
have been struggling with my quiet times (true!). I’m only getting like two
hours a day (untrue, I actually know that my last quiet time was March 24th,
1976), and I know the Lord is calling me to more (again, true), because there
is so much more for me.”
That was why I hated testimony day. It’s not that I hated
the principle behind it, or wanted to reject Scripture concerning the power of
the word of our testimonies. It’s just that testimonies have become, how do I
say this, more about us than about Jesus in us. Our testimonies have become
vaingloriousness instead of the in-breaking of the Kingdom of God into real
life. Look at the testimony I shared. “…Mention a story of how ‘I’ overcame it…” That is really what we
have replaced things with. We often add a phrase like, “And God helped (showed)
me,” or “And then I prayed, and I guess God just…” to cover it up, but really
the stories are about how we have overcome things on our own, and shared in a
specific preapproved formula.
Yeah...we've all sat in this circle before. |
And here’s the deal. That
is real life. And that is important. But when our testimony boils down to a
rote formula where we plug in the details, we aren’t really sharing our story.
We aren’t really testifying what God has done in us…what we have lived. So, in
other words we are using a bunch of words that do not communicate the reality
of our existence and experience in relation to the actual spiritual journey
that we are in and have been through.
It would be akin to going to therapy (or counseling for you
good Southern folk, since therapy sounds so scary!) and only sharing the
generalized concerns of humankind. Sure, that is a good thing. But you came to
therapy for you. You came to get help with your ish (issues for those of you
older than 50). By sharing the generalized, “Well, the economy is bad, and a
lot of people have to choose between bread and health care,” is a good thought,
but it doesn’t address, “But the reason I was sent here is I am a rage-aholic
who yells at my kids, ran someone off the road and my wife no longer feels safe
around me. Also, I have been binge drinking for two years because of the
stresses of work, but can’t tell anyone, because I am a Baptist deacon, and no
one can know because it would bring public shame and scorn.” See. Our testimony
loses its power, because of formula. And it can separate us from what we really
desire, and more importantly…really need.
But there is hope for change. If you have been around me
long you probably here me ask: What’s your story? That’s what I say instead of
testimony. It’s basically the same thing, but it loses a lot of the baggage and
says, “Forget the formula…share what you want to share, don’t share what you
don’t.” And the truth is for me it recaptures the intention of what we are
after in the first place. We come to a place of understanding who this
beautiful stranger in front of us really is, not a list of “appropriate to
share sins” that are on a checklist. It also lets me gauge and understand what
to share with this person versus that person.
Henri Nouwen talks about the allure of revealing yourself
little by little…of maintaining a mystery about you instead of vomiting your
life story in the first sitting. For instance, my friend John Moore knows a lot
more about me than my friend Jon Quitt. John and I have lived more life
together. We have lived more intentional life together. As such, I have shared
things with John that I have not with Jon. But, there are certain things of my
heart that I have shared with Jon that John still does not know because they
are relative to the relationship. And that is the importance of destroying the
formula. It allows you the space to be who you are, be safe in the relationship
and experience the grace of God as it is today in your life. It is the true
testimony of you and me and God today…not a sin confessed 46 times since 1943,
because that was expected during testimony time.
So, what’s your story? Where is God intervening today? Where
do you need help now? What are the actual significant markers that changed you…not
just the ones that make the best story? Those are the things that I want to know.
Those are the things that in sharing can change hearts…and reveal who you are
and what God is doing. And those are the things that really have the power to
change lives. So, next time testimony hour comes about, throw people for a
loop. Tell your story. It might be awkward at first, but I bet, can almost
guarantee you that it will change the dynamics and may help you make a new
friend. And if you’re first, may allow people space to be their genuine selves.
I cried at camp. That's how I know I changed. :) Solid post.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff, I can relate quite a bit. For me I have a problem where I can quickly get caught up in telling my testimony to people who are receptive. What I would much rather do is tell a story when it relates to them, because the most encouraging testimonies I hear are the ones I can understand from my own walk. I sometimes find myself discouraged by testimonies of people being raised from the dead, or other miraculous encounters when I really want to be praising the Lord for it. I am sure if I had experienced it myself it would be easier, and require a lot less faith to digest :P
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