Wednesday, October 29, 2014

The Michigan Wedding!!!

Married at last...with a green moustache to boot!
So…I am married now. That’s new. It seems every few days I have this strange thought that, “Hey. I am married to Betsy. Huh?” Most of the time it seems normal; all of the time it feels right; it is just new, so I find myself in wonder at times.
Betsy and I had this grand idea that we were going to post something about being blissfully wed every day…last week. Since that did not happen, and I have not found an appropriate outlet for ALL THESE WORDS that need to escape, I present to you today’s post. What I am most focused on today is talking a little bit about what shook down in Michigan.
First, Michigan is the “official wedding date,” aka the one that must be remembered for antiquity when it comes to anniversaries. It was the one that, when all is said and done, we considered ourselves official. It is the one that changed things for us. Though other events helped us create new identities (e.g. the Valentine’s fight, our July trips, the Texas vows), the Michigan ceremony is what we mark as “the two becoming one” for us.
This is significant more on my end than Betsy’s. Early in the process I wanted two separate but equal ceremonies as we knew that significant people would be missing from a wedding by choosing either Texas or Michigan. My family (rightly) said Michigan was the logical choice. That stung, but the aftermath of that conversation was a major turning point for us. After that decision was made, we both learned the value of checking ourselves on any decision that was selfish to the point of the exclusion of the other. Ouch! Selfish! Yes...but you have to understand that I approach life by understanding that each of us is inherently selfish, meaning we think about our self first. That is not rocket science. When I ask you to do or for something your first response is normally, “Am I able to do or give that?” That is not a bad question. But the marker of maturity, and what I saw after this decision was that both Betsy and I were able to think, “I really want this. Is this something s/he will like, and if not, is it something that is worth fighting for?” We never had a big disagreement after that…which, trust me, I am QUITE thankful for.
So, all the planning came together. All the chaos ensued (such as me running lights, sound, figuring out a/v and clearing a stage at our rehearsal). The cool thing…the bride was part of the initial line up instead of the groom as I was quite busy! And Betsy has quite frequently joked, “Yeah. I married my uncle and my father the night of our rehearsal.” So…fun times, new jokes.
The day of the wedding it was 43 degrees and raining lightly, then heavily in about 15 minute cycles. This could have proved disastrous. Instead, it just made for fun stories. Pictures were fine, except I hate pictures so I got grumpy, not because of the photographers, but because…you know…I hate posing. I think at one point we had an exchange something like this:
Jodi: Soft lips James.
Me: (Anger seething about not having soft lifts, adjusts my face.)
Dan or Jodi: That is really more of a snarl than soft lips.
Me, internally: Ohhh…you think that’s a snarl do you…I will show you the wrath that cometh. My vengeance shall be swift and fierce.
My mom getting me to dance.
So, yeah. Pictures were great! Then something happened that I have NEVER seen happen at a wedding before, but I was absolutely enamored with. EVERYONE just hung out. It was fantastic. Family members, friends that were early, the wedding party, we all just hung out in back of the church telling fun stories, enjoying laughs. It was the best! We did that until about 10 minutes after the wedding should have started, because two closed streets and no parking lot led to lots of people walking. Again…fun stories, no anxiety. So, so thankful.
Our ceremony was equal parts cry-y and laugh-y. I sang a song I wrote when she walked down the aisle. We did vows we had written ourselves. We shared communion with everyone. We had lots of hugs and laughs. Betsy’s nephew received his reward for doing a job and showed his Hulk hands to everyone! It was just such a relaxing day, and remarkably unstressful.
Most people find me to be an extrovert. I understand that, because I can basically talk to anyone. Really…anyone. But, the thing people don’t realize is I hate being the center of attention for any length of time. It creates a lot of anxiety for me. So, when people dinged their glass wanting Betsy and I to kiss one too many times, I stepped outside the tent…and vomited. Yes. This glorious day was great, except I lost my lunch at the reception. Knowing this was nothing more than nerves, not true illness, I had a great rest of the reception by breaking everything glass that could be dinged. I kid. But, thankfully it did stop and I enjoyed the rest of the night.
Betsy's reception.
My friend Billy but two pictures up on the Facebook that demonstrated our two different receptions. It is here for you to see. This picture basically sums up much of the night. I enjoyed people with conversations; Betsy enjoyed people on the dance floor. Remember that not liking attention thing? That is what keeps me off of dance floors. I know it is a limitation. I know I need to get over it…but I also understand myself enough to respect limitations. If I (or Betsy) had pushed things to be different, it would have been a miserable night. And that is one thing I really love about us. Betsy knew that dance floor James equaled miserable James, so she didn’t ask it of me. (Thanks Mrs. Love!)

James's reception.
So, that is basically my take on Michigan. What an awesome day. What awesome time with family and friends. We are both so thankful for the many memories and stories from that day. If Betsy is up for it, I think she will write a little about her time in Michigan. We also want to share about the glory that was our honeymoon and the laugh fest that was our Texas shindig. And then I have something that has been kinda burning in me that I want to share. The only hint is that Janet, Rebecca, Ginny, Cari, Betsy, Dawn, Tammy, James, Aubrey and Evangeline, will probably be the only ones that share the memory that sparked it. That said, I think it is something so universal that the story will resonate with all of you. So, until later, hope you are well. Much love my friends.

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